Article by motigi
I've liked men for as long as I can remember and I'm a quirky okama (effeminate man) with relatively good self-esteem.
I've come to witness various things related to men's realistic love affairs and romance in the gay industry (gay sex service and gay bars).
And at one point during my sharing of the aforementioned experiences on Twitter, pixiv Comic gave me the opportunity to serialize my comic and now I'm even more thankful for pixiv for letting me write this column. It's been a real honor.
Now I'm going to introduce a letter addressed to me...
I'm a fujoshi (a person who enjoys the romance between male characters) and I don't think I can ever understand how a yumejoshi (a person who considers a character their romantic interest) thinks. Even today, I feel uncomfortable whenever I come across yumejoshi works on pixiv. I'm even avoiding my own friend after muting them on Twitter. How should I deal with the problem between fujoshi and yumejoshi?
Pen-name: RT wo hyoji shinaidemo muri datta (RTを表示しないでも無理だった; Female, 30-year-old)
So there you have it.
So this is basically about two people who appreciate the same work in different ways and these ways at times result in collisions or prevent the two people from exchanging their opinions. Thank you for telling me about your worries and the wall that stands between you and yumejoshi.
First of all, what I can say is the problem lies in the "confrontation" and not in the existence of people with different ways of appreciating the same thing. (Although it could be a problem depending on the way someone shows or conceals what they enjoy.)
Another thing that I can say is that most importantly, the core fact remains that both parties "love the same work and characters" despite their different perspectives.
Now, if we take a minute to ponder on this letter, we'll realize that the issue described here is likely to happen in other types of industries and fields as well (they are, in fact, happening as we speak).
Let me give you a simple example. When it comes to religions, different interpretations of God and the people's positions can result in conflicts. We often hear similar problems from various entertainment industries as well. For instance, when fans are split into factions.
So when you use different kinds of historical events and industries as a reference, you'll come to understand that the structure of opposition described in this letter and conflicts among fans are actually the other side of the wonderful feeling that is a fan's enthusiasm and determination to hold on to their opinions when it comes to a certain work. The driving force of the problem between fujoshi and yumejoshi is the exact same one that has driven the path of humanity until today--love. Wonderful, isn't it? Pssh! (I open a can of beer after saying something good.)
Since that's how it is, don't go feeling depressed just because you can't understand a yumejoshi (or a fujoshi). There are as many kinds of love as there are people--that's all. This is true no matter how much two people love the same work.
I think that mindset needs to be applied even among the people in the same community. For instance, in the fujoshi community. People who are into BL (Boys' Love) have different preferences when it comes to BL too, such as genres, situations, and favorite points. (By the way, I like BL works that involve old men. People often retort back saying, "Where are the 'boys' then?")
◼️ All you need is distance and respect. You beloved darling is in your forest.
So, I think in all aspects, it's necessary for us to "live separately" and to "respect others".
As long as we keep these points in mind, we won't have to persevere and say things that we don't truly mean or to give up having opinions at all. However, we always have to be mindful of the place where we voice our opinions and how we post stuff.
But even when you are considerate in how you voice your thoughts, there will still be people who don't agree with you and instances where you will accidentally come across those people due to the "unavoidable nature of the Internet's features".
I think everyone should keep only the right sense of distance to prevent themselves from going out of their way to find, expose, and attack people who don't share the same idea.
Even if you come across someone else's way of enjoying what you also like or a different interpretation of your favorite character, just keep yourself detached, tell yourself, "Oh. So that's how things are according to that person's worldline" or "So that's how that person interprets God..." and then, go back to your own forest... Because waiting within that forest is the darling that you love.
That's what I keep in mind as I watch gay videos and talk with my gay friends. Most of the time, we argue because of our different interpretations about the backgrounds of the male actors, but it's a lot of fun to get to know all kinds of perspectives thanks to the power of our interpretations. Although my senior calls me an idiot for how I view gay videos.
I think we're getting off track here.
Anyway, there's no such thing as bad enthusiasm or emotion if it's based on love. If you decide to give those feelings shapes and post them in a public place, you just have to make sure to follow the procedures, to be aware of what you post, and be moderate. And even when you've done all of the above someone still comes to give you their two cents, it's better to just tell them to go home to their own forest...
Well then, I'm going back to the forest of gay videos...
(Skips toward the sunset)
The fact that he is gay was exposed when he was 18, much to his dismay, and it resulted in his separation with his mother and move to Tokyo. He first worked in the gay sex industry in Shinjuku Ni-chome and afterward, he experienced working on various things in the gay industry including gay bars and gay videos...
He publishes essays and comics based on his own personal experience and is gaining popularity. He has more than 400,000 followers on Twitter. His first book "Gay Fuzoku no motigi-san: Sexuality wa Jinsei da" (motigi of the Gay Sex Industry: Sexuality is Life) will be published on August 9, 2019.