Curry Zawa Kaoru’s Creative Counseling - “I’m jealous of people who can attend doujinshi events.” Instead of lamenting what could’ve been, focus on what you can do.

Upon further research, though, I learned that, apparently, even my tiny village hosts regular multigenre doujinshi conventions. You might think, “Multigenre? Who do you think you are, Comiket or Super Comic City? Go drive yourself into a ditch before pulling stuff out of your ass, you country bumpkin!” But hear me out: it’s a multigenre doujinshi convention with only 60 available slots. Picturing every single fandom imaginable represented in these 60 slots almost makes it feel like a miniature cosmos, but in reality, 90 percent of the participating circles are probably Shōnen Jump-related, and it’s unlikely that all 60 slots get filled up every single time.

However, despite the environment I grew up in, I wasn’t jealous of people who could attend Comiket or other conventions in the slightest, at least not until I was 14 or so. If you think that means I was a Popteen girlie until then, the answer is no—I’ve been an otaku since age four and a former devout Enix (now Square Enix) follower. That said, there was no internet in the wilderness when I was a wee youngin’, so I wasn't even aware of the existence of doujinshi conventions at the time.

Like I said, though, “ignorance is bliss” is a very real phenomenon, so I suggest you try blocking out anything event-related on your timeline when an event rolls around. While I understand that social media makes it hard to ignore something completely, if you haven’t taken any measures to protect your peace of mind, now’s your cue to do so. 

Premium users on pixiv are allowed to mute up to 500 keywords, so I’m guessing some people really do use all 500 slots. Considering how some users go to extreme lengths to protect themselves, muting your followers and keeping your social media usage to a minimum during event season is the least you can do to maintain your sanity. Even I tend to curb my 68-hour-a-day X usage when I know a series is being hyped up on social media.

For the uninitiated, penpalling is the act of exchanging letters written in blood on tanned human hide, a ritual that was highly popular among teenage girls before the advent of the internet (don’t quote me on that). My penpal at the time was a girl I found under the Looking for Friends section of a magazine. Not only was she the same age as me, but she was also into the same fandom and character that I liked. The only problem? Unlike me, she was a city gal.

Whereas I stuck to tradition and wrote on boring old human leather, my pen pal sent me letters written on limited edition doujinshi stationery of our oshi, which I could only presume she got from an event. Not only was that my first-ever encounter with doujinshi merch, but it was also the first time I learned about the existence of such conventions. Furthermore, my pen pal told me she’d even participated in one as a seller despite only being a junior high school student. This was more shocking to me than hearing about one of my classmates making it to third base, and I remember being overcome by a wave of jealousy at the time.

Being an average 15-year-old in the countryside, however, I faced the same conundrum as you: printing copies of my own doujinshi to sell at a major event in the city just wasn’t an option. Rather than stomp my foot and let jealousy take hold of me, however, I had a flash of inspiration. Grabbing a strip of leather, I used a ruler to draw lines on it, added an illustration, and copied it at the village’s only convenience store to create my very own doujinshi stationery. Additionally, I made illustrated leaflets containing updates about my life and sent them to her despite not having anyone else to share them with.

While I can’t help but cringe at the memory, in hindsight, I guess I was a pretty resourceful kid to make do with what I had instead of just lamenting what I lacked.

Besides, it’s never too late to do something for the first time. Rather than bemoan the present, why not look forward to a future where the unachievable might become attainable?

That said, participation is optional, and sometimes, it’s better not to have experienced something at all.

In a similar vein, you might have an unrealistic view of what attending a convention is actually like. On the one hand, it could be far more exciting than you expected, but on the other, you might be let down by the fact that no one came to your booth or learn on the way home that you were the only one not invited to the afterparty and regret having participated.

After experiencing both online and IRL events, I’ve come to the conclusion that the internet is a wonderful place, given that it allows even a gloomy bumpkin like me, who no one would give a second glance at in real life, to publish their work and get showered with praise. I’m no longer envious of people who live in the city, and even when I have to go to Tokyo for work, I’m out of there before you can say Jack Robinson. While I’m not saying that will be the case for you, too, you can always try to convince yourself that your current situation is not as bad as it seems and be content with it.

The popular column Curry Zawa Kaoru’s Creative Counseling has been made into a book titled Otaku no Tanoshii Seisaku Ron (The Delightful Art of Otaku Creation, Bungeishunju).

In addition to fan-favorite episodes such as “Coping with fanwork taking a little too many liberties”, “When you can’t get feedback in an underdeveloped genre”, “Is 40 too old for doujin events?” and “Understanding the troubles and contradictions of killing off your favorite characters”, the book also includes brand new topics and advice!

Read more Curry Zawa Kaoru’s Creative Counseling articles here