Curry Zawa Kaoru’s Creative Counseling - “Do authors hate it when fans ghost them?” Unless they’re in a relationship with them, the answer is no.
Article by Curry Zawa Kaoru
What do authors think of fans who suddenly stop sending them messages?
At the very least, it’s safe to assume that most people who post their work on a public platform like pixiv have some desire to be noticed and long for people to comment on their creations.
I've mentioned this before, but if anything, the majority of creators give up not because of overzealous, borderline stalker-y fans but due to the lack of love their work receives.
Between fans who never say anything out of fear of coming off too strong—thereby slowly sapping authors of their will to create—and fans who smash out full-on essays declaring their love without hesitation, I’d say most would prefer the latter.
If we’re being more specific, however, what creators really want is a response to their work. This could mean anything from a simple “like”—nothing more, nothing less—to fans singing their praises to the heavens and fist-pumping in joy. Basically, how authors feel about long, gushing compliments and what words would make them happy depends entirely on the person.
The reason I spend 62 hours a day egosurfing on X is the same reason I prefer cheap buffets over expensive nine-course meals: I’d much rather stumble upon fan messages by chance than have them spoon-fed to me by the dozen. Anything too direct, and I’ll wilt under pressure.
If you were to come up to me and tell me what you think about my work, it won’t be long before I run out of the room screaming, “Help, I need a safeword!” And don’t even get me started on voice chat—if I hear anyone so much as mention my name in reference to my work, I immediately log off.
Does that mean creators like me find long, passionate fan messages annoying or creepy? Not at all!
So, how do they make us timid, can’t-take-a-compliment artist types feel? In short, utterly grateful. I have nothing but overwhelming gratitude for people who enjoy my work and even like it enough to send me their thoughts on it.
Unfortunately, being the awkward, self-conscious blob that I am, I struggle to accept praise or believe that I’m worthy of such love, and I often end up deflecting compliments in my usual self-deprecating manner instead of just saying thank you.
What I’m trying to say is that sometimes the creator you’re sending (or contemplating sending) a fan letter to is even more unhinged than you are. Unless you’re insulting or threatening them in some way, there’s hardly any reason for creators to feel resentful towards their fans simply for sending a long message.
Even authors with a low tolerance for praise are bound to appreciate hearing from their fans; I’m sure those with a healthy dose of self-esteem will likely be overjoyed by such messages.
Fans are important to us, but we’re not in a relationship with them
As important as fans are to us creatives, we need to remember that they aren’t our friends or family.
No matter how well you think you know your oshi and proudly declare yourself as their number one fan, you might still wake up one day to the earth-shattering news that they’re getting married to so-and-so in a week. Even if you’ve never expressed any desire to marry your oshi, it can come as a shock and disappointment that you didn’t know them as well as you thought.
While the reminder that you don't have any special privileges or a relationship with your oshi can sting, it also means that you’re free to support them or desert them as you please.
Unlike friends or family, who, barring certain circumstances, you have a right to demand answers from or file a missing persons report about if they suddenly ghost you or go missing, no one has the right to stop a fan from leaving a fandom. Creators have no right to get angry at their fans for “betraying them” either; they can only thank them for their support thus far and hope they’ll return one day.
Now, it might be a problem to ghost an author if you’d become friends with them throughout your exchange, but if all you’d done was send them adoring fan letters, there’s no need for you to feel guilty.
Besides, I doubt any creator believes that any of their fans, superfan or otherwise, can sustain that level of love indefinitely.
Just as most people have experienced their favorite author switching to a different genre at some point, most authors have experienced their readership changing too.
Even so, the saying holds: it’s better to have known love once than to have never known love at all. I suggest you continue to send your favorite authors fan messages, provided they remain within the bounds of what’s appropriate.
While some authors might be offended that you would even consider abandoning them halfway, that’s not your fault—that’s just them being severely out of touch with reality, so feel free to ignore them.
An excellent case study of a whirlwind fan
By the way, I must thank you for your submission, for this is an excellent case study of a fan who disappears as suddenly as they appear.
Although I doubt many creatives would find your tendency to ghost authors rude, I wouldn’t be surprised if it made some of them anxious.
Like they say, love can quickly turn to hate, and it’s not uncommon for a devoted fan to become a passionate hater the minute they fall out of love with their oshi, a worry that many creators share. While you’re busy worrying if your behavior is rude, I can guarantee there are authors worrying that they might have done something awful to warrant being canceled by you for good.
Given the nature of your (nonexistent) relationship, however, it’s not like an author can track you down and ask what terrible crime they’d committed for you to stop reading their work. As a result, there may or may not be a few sensitive souls you’ve hurt and discouraged from writing.
At the same time, I’ve learned a lot from your message, namely that some people fall out of love with a genre as quickly as they fall in love with it, and it’s no fault of ours.
Thanks to you, I can now refer to your message whenever I encounter a whirlwind fan without feeling like I did something wrong.
This column was made into a book!
The popular column Curry Zawa Kaoru’s Creative Counseling has been made into a book titled Otaku no Tanoshii Seisaku Ron (The Delightful Art of Otaku Creation, Bungeishunju).
In addition to fan-favorite episodes such as “Coping with fanwork taking a little too many liberties”, “When you can’t get feedback in an underdeveloped genre”, “Is 40 too old for doujin events?” and “Understanding the troubles and contradictions of killing off your favorite characters”, the book also includes brand new topics and advice!
To a prolific author, my comments and messages probably mean very little and would hardly be missed. The thing is, I do this to authors of underappreciated genres too. When I was younger, I would send my faves countless fan letters in a fit of passion before ceasing to write to them altogether the minute I became invested in an entirely different genre. Now that I think about it, though, I feel like that was an incredibly rude thing to do. That said, I can’t force myself to respond earnestly to fan fiction of a genre I’m no longer interested in, and I doubt any author would appreciate a fake fan sending them a message that’s devoid of passion.
Real talk: what do authors think of fans who abruptly stop commenting on their works? I promise it’s not because their work is boring—I’m just fickle and insensitive.
Also, I often hear authors want to know what their fans think about their work, but how do you all feel about long messages? Since I’m not a complete freak—or at least, I try not to be—I do my best to keep my comments strictly to my thoughts on their work and leave out anything that might allude to their personal lives. While my long messages seem well received, I’d like to know if authors genuinely appreciate them or if they’re just being polite most of the time.
Should I quit sending rambling messages and keep my comments short and to the point? Would a simple “I love your work!” or “It was super interesting!” suffice? I once sent an author a short marshmallow* via Twitter (now X) every day, figuring that would be better than sending several long messages, but was that actually creepier? And how would authors feel if those messages were to stop all of a sudden?
Anyway, I’d love it if you could show me an example of a fan message that authors would genuinely appreciate. Thanks!
*T/N: A "marshmallow" is an service provided by マシュマロ (lit. "marshmellow") through X that allows anonymous commenters to send compliments and uses AI to filter out hate.