Curry Zawa Kaoru's Creative Counseling - “I regret making BL that includes a character married to someone else.” Stop being so hard on yourself.

“Miss Kaoru, what is troubling you?!”

I’m also called Kaoru, and I can’t deny I can be trouble. However, this story isn’t about me, it’s about the time in junior high school when I found a BL doujin of a pretty popular old shounen manga.

To give you some context, it used to be common to find something you thought was your favorite manga with an alternative cover, just to realise after you bought it that it was a commercial doujin anthology with a bunch of BL in it... and thereby being awakened to the existence of BL, period.

In my particular case, the original story ended with the protagonist getting married to a woman, and they live happily ever after together. However, in one of these anthologies, the main character ended up in a relationship with another dude.

Now, I didn’t have anything against BL, but I couldn’t help but wonder what the main female character was doing while the boys were… getting it on, so to speak. One of the scenes was even in her house! Talk about making yourself at home! I mostly just remember being surprised that she wasn’t there.

I decided to dedicate myself to unravelling the mystery behind this phenomenon. From then on, every time I went to a decently sized bookstore, I would buy one of these anthologies. Today, I would have made a beeline for Amazon to investigate more thoroughly, but considering my resources as a junior high school student, I must say I displayed a perfect amount of drive and dedication to my research.

I was a veritable Madame Curie, overdosing with BL instead of radium, realizing that there was a whole world of male characters coupling up as if the main female character didn’t exist, and in fact, I—a fan of official het pairings—was the minority.

Even Shou Tucker would have been scared of how quickly I accepted this new reality. He’d probably say something like, “I worry about pragmatic brats like you!” Most fans of the canon couple might feel more conflicted than I did about how the heroine is missing in action and wonder to themselves, “Who Moved My Heroine? Should we go looking for her? But… I don’t want to…” However, they always have the option of not reading it if they don’t like it, and I bet that’s exactly what they’ll (not) do. So don’t worry too much and just make sure you tag your work correctly.

Unless there’s been an official statement allowing fanworks, they’re always going to be a gray area. It’s not like fanworks of the canon couple are merely “off-white” and fanon BL couples are “black as the darkest shadow.” They’re all equally gray.

There are people who prioritize the original work, and treating the original work as sacred is one of many possibilities as a fan, but not everyone has to adhere to that. By listening to the haters and forcing yourself to agree with them, you’re only punishing yourself.

Recently, the punishment for being a cheater has grown more and more severe, with exposed celebrities being erased from the public eye for years at a time. It’s no surprise people don’t want to put their favorite characters in the same category.

There are some ways to avoid it, like pretending the canon couples were never together from the start. Isn’t giving up on your OTP just because it's a major departure from the original work being too hard on yourself?

Adhering to the harsh rules of reality—that laws and ethics must be followed, societal expectations cannot be ignored, and anything that compromises your integrity must be avoided at all costs—in your creative work prevents you from having an emotional connection to what you make.

Are fiction and imagination not our only sanctuaries from such things?

Fiction is about creating a world that suits you, the world that you want to see. And your readers likely feel the same way.

If anything, talking at length about what happened to the canon couple will probably bore people who came to read about the couple you’re writing about. It might even make them feel guilty. Most people would rather not be reminded of it.

As long as you put the name of your ship somewhere, you don’t have to worry about the original ship at all. If it really bothers you, just keep telling yourself, "She’s not here right now, but his canon partner is somewhere else having the time of her life!" or "This family is polyamorous!"

Don’t worry about it seeming too contrived or convenient. One of the most popular fanfic tropes is couples getting trapped in a room that doesn’t unlock until they have sex. These contrivances are only criticized if they’re boring! No one will complain as long as the story is good. Personally, I want to see them! More than I want to see my parents, even.

Obviously, you can’t please everyone, but there are people out there who will really love your work. Isn’t it worth it to share your work so that they can enjoy it too?

Before I go to sleep, I always spend some time in bed fantasizing about my perfect stories. However, I know that if people saw them in their rawest forms, I’d probably die of embarrassment, so I know I need to make them fit for the public if I actually want to put them out into the world.

These days, there is a growing number of people who are questioning who can write what. Fiction may allow you more freedom than reality, but the only place in this world that you’re free from morals and legality is inside your own mind.

Instead of putting your fantasies out there to be judged by others' preferences or societal ethics, you could just enjoy them within your own mind.

However, at the moment, it seems likely that you’ll fall asleep before you get to thinking about your OTP because you’re spending so much time justifying their love in the face of the canon material. So first, try practicing creating a kinder mentality for yourself so that you can really get to the good stuff.

↑ Feel free to send your troubles in languages other than Japanese, too.

The popular column Curry Zawa Kaoru’s Creative Counseling has been made into a book titled Otaku no Tanoshii Seisaku Ron (The Delightful Art of Otaku Creation, Bungeishunju).

In addition to fan-favorite episodes such as “Coping with fanwork taking a little too many liberties”, “When you can’t get feedback in an underdeveloped genre”, “Is 40 too old for doujin events?” and “Understanding the troubles and contradictions of killing off your favorite characters”, the book also includes brand new topics and advice!