Curry Zawa Kaoru’s Creative Counseling - "How do I respond to feedback?” Let your next work do the talking.

It seems every time I turn around, I'm hit with a unique problem that proves just how much of a struggle creative work can be. You finish one project, only to worry about how it compares to others, whether people will see it, and whether they'll leave feedback. And then when you finally get feedback, figuring out how to respond becomes the next big hurdle.

At this point, I wonder if creation is just a euphemism for hell. It feels like it would fit right in between a pool of blood and a mountain of needles.

Even I, who occasionally get compliments in person from readers at signings, find myself falling back on a rote "Thank you so much," with nothing else to add.

I end up just holding on to that like a caught ball in a game of catch, endlessly repeating "thank you" until the other person, after a brief awkward silence, wishes me luck and scuttles off.

I could try asking them where they're from and thanking them for making the effort to come out, but considering I often travel from the remotest corners of Honshu to Tokyo, it usually creates an uncomfortable situation in which actually I seem to have been the one to make the greater effort...

But what really drives a reader to go out of their way to send feedback to an author?

Sure, there might be a sneaky few plotting to slide into your DMs for a cheeky one-night stand, but mostly it’s folks throwing digital kudos your way because they genuinely like your work. They’re basically saying, "Here’s a pat on the back, now go make more cool stuff."

The last thing a reader wants is for their feedback to send the author into a spiral of self-doubt and regret for not coming up with a clever response.

So, the moment you find yourself doing your happy dance after reading their comments, those words have done their job. There's no need to stress about coming up with the perfect response.

I mentioned catch earlier, but really, readers aren’t looking for a back-and-forth. If anything, they're tossing you a tip, hoping it will nourish you to do more of your art.

When you shove a tip into a stripper's outfit, do you expect them to pull a plum out of their ass in return? No, you're probably satisfied with just another sexy dance.

In the same way, what your supporters are truly looking for is your next piece of work, not necessarily a response. If worrying about the perfect reply stops your creative output, you're putting the cart before the horse.

So when I get feedback on my socials or emails, I don’t stress over personalized thank-yous. Instead, I just take the love and let it motivate me to keep going.

Look, as a socially savvy adult cruising through their 40s, it's natural to feel compelled to respond thoughtfully to every piece of feedback you get.

Sure, politeness is great and all, but sometimes this over-the-top etiquette just makes things more complicated than they need to be.

In Japan, there's this bizarre custom where you can’t just accept a congratulatory gift without hustling out a thank-you gift right back. I’ve been there myselfーI send a baby gift, and bam, a return gift is on my doorstep before I can blink. My husband sends a condolence gift, and the next thing I know, the bereaved are already at our door trying to pay us back for it.

It's stressful to try to do something nice, then end up getting back half of what you received. You're just hoping that the recipients will take what you're trying to give them, but then suddenly you’re feeling guilty about inconveniencing a household that's already dealing with a newborn or mourning a loss.

Kitsuko Manshu hit the nail on the head in her essays—this endless thank-you marathon can drive people nuts until someone inevitably flips and yells, "Cut it out already!"

Knowing when to end an exchange gracefully is its own form of courtesy.

Feedback is like a thank-you for showing off a solid piece of work. For the reader, sending it marks the end of the transaction. Tossing another thanks on top of their thanks is overkill. You don't always have to respond, and not responding isn’t a social faux pas.

Of course, you can reply if you want, but there's no need to twist yourself into knots over it.

Imagine you stumbled upon someone on X whining because they got a souvenir from Fukuoka and it wasn’t their preferred snack, blasting the poor soul who thought they were doing something nice. You'd shudder at their ungraciousness, right? Feedback, like a souvenir, is all about the gesture, and criticizing its content or style is just expecting too much from the giver.

Would you really sneer at someone who sends a simple "I liked it" thinking, “What a lame review, do better!”? Surely, even a simple "I enjoyed this" would make you happy.

The same goes for replying to feedback. It's enough to convey your gratitude and how much the comments encouraged you. A plain "Thank you!" is perfectly fine.

If you’re dying to flex some creative muscle, save it for your art, not your thank-you notes.

Instead of crafting a fancy reply, pour that energy into your next creation. That's the real way to pay back those who took the time to appreciate your work.