Curry Zawa Kaoru's Creative Counseling - “I don’t have the strength to create.” Then give it a rest.

First of all, I’ll have you know that rhinoceros beetles are pretty strong, so you must be pretty strong too. As long as you’ve got the energy to describe your health in any way but "ugh," you’ve got energy to create.

From what I’ve seen, every creator always feels a keen sense of inadequacy.

It’s the same weird glitch that happens with animals sometimes, where their horns grow so long they pierce their brains. As long as you love creating, you’re going to keep feeling that same piercing inadequacy.

I'm sorry to tell you that it never ends, which leaves you with two options: give up or accept that you'll never be free of that feeling and come up with some self-brainwashing mantras like, "Creation is suffering! And that's why I like it!"

That said, most people fall somewhere in between, neither fully giving up on creating nor achieving radical acceptance of their persistent creative agony.

But what exactly is it that artists feel is lacking? Overwhelmingly, technique and talent.

The first step in creating something is realizing that your hands do a terrible job of recreating the amazing image of your fave you have in your head.

It’d be so much easier just to accept that it’s an issue of talent and give up, but we can’t help but feel a weird mix of humility and overconfidence. I always think I’ll be able to make any drawing I want if I just work a bit harder, but then that causes anguish about the feeling that I never have enough time to do so.

Lack of technique is where these artist "glitches" are most likely to occur. No matter how objectively talented an artist is, that horn is sticking right into their brain and telling them they absolutely suck. And they believe it. Even Hokusai-senpai died after spending 90 years thinking he sucked and needed just a little more time to hone his skills. You’re always going to want to get better. Think of it as part of your life’s work.

Even if an artist’s talent is infinite, the time they have to use it is decidedly limited. Perhaps the biggest human glitch of all is that most of us have to spend the majority of our already limited time working. This is why artists spend so much time worrying about having no technique and no time. I’m sure your real friends would try to stop you if you told them you wanted to change jobs so you could spend more time making doujin. On the flip side, the people who want to see you fail will push you so hard to do it that you trip over your own feet.

That said, it’s true that some mangaka only ever work part-time jobs so they have more time to draw, and that some lucky individuals get so good so fast because they can rely on a partner to fund their lives.

There are people who will say, "It's one thing if you want to become a professional, but sacrificing your job for a hobby is just foolish!" That's the mindset of someone with a work horn stuck in their brain. If you really think about it, it's absurd to prioritize a job you don't even want when you have something else you're already so passionate about.

However, you need to remember this: Work is hell and changing jobs is just jumping from one hell to another. Work is full of deadlines because that’s how working makes you feel. If the particular circle of hell you’re in right now isn’t too bad, be cautious about jumping into a new one.

However, if your main problem isn’t your lack of time but your lack of good health, I honestly think you should stop while you're ahead. Stopping because you get sick is a much more graceful reason than lack of talent. Forcing talents that you don't have won’t harm you, but forcing energy that you don’t have definitely will.

Ever since I turned 40, my physical strength has declined significantly. I have a similar anxiety to yours. It really hurts to get a job request that would have been easy when I was younger but not be able to do it now. The only solution is to regretfully turn it down. If you don't, you will only harm yourself. It’s okay to give up sometimes. Hokusai-senpai also lived to be 90 years old and painted right up until his death, so it’s likely he was very careful about staying healthy.

I want to use this Creative Counseling to motivate and support you, but I also want you to realize that trying to work harder than your physical strength allows is more dangerous than pushing yourself in other ways, like spending more money than you have. You have no choice but to work with the strength you have.

You may despair of the fact you were born with no physical strength, but on the other hand, I think you have a higher level of concentration than most people. Even if you have boundless stamina, without concentration, you'll end up spending most of your energy hopping between SNS, pixiv, and X, making it impossible to finish your work.

While you are lamenting your lack of stamina, Goemon Ishikawa XIII, who has physical strength for days, is thinking, “I spent yet another day on worthless things…” There are even people who have no physical strength or concentration. I’d rather have at least one.

Is it possible that you get sick from concentrating too much sometimes? Concentrating too much can tire you out in a way that you won’t even notice until you’re already about to pass out. Therefore, don’t think about how to work harder, but how to do what you can do without pushing yourself too hard, and give yourself credit for working hard enough.

By the way, concentration, like physical strength, gets worse with age.

"I’m over 40, my physical strength is declining, and my work is not going as well as I want!" is another way for me to say, "I have started to waste the little energy I have playing social media games."

I don't know how good your concentration is right now, but I'm sure you have it. Instead of wasting time thinking about overusing physical strength you don’t have, think about how to use the concentration you do.

↑ Feel free to send your troubles in languages other than Japanese, too.